MagsWrites
Thanks for tuning in.
Bio
Name: Maggie Pehanick
Location: New York, New York
Profession: Writer/Journalist/Reporter/Blogger/Whatever the kids are calling it these days
Specialty: Entertainment (Television, Movies, Music, Books, Pop Culture)
Interests: Food, Travel, Fashion, Health, Stand-Up Comedy, Either Coast (some of the stuff in between)
I grew up in front of the television. I should clarify: It wasn't one of those households where the TV was the babysitter. My mom was always there, she just loved TV. Most third-graders don't foster a profound attachment to a show like Seinfeld, but then again, maybe I wasn't like most 8-year-olds. Sure, I couldn't have understood the subtleties of Mad About You while I was still learning the fifty states in alphabetical order, but I knew one thing from a young age: I wanted to do something involving media.
It took me until junior year in college to put together what a lot of people already envisioned for me. I could apply my knack for writing to an area that I already had a passion for: pop culture.
I signed up to write the school newspaper, The Daily Aztec, and began what I hope will be a long, illustrious career as an entertainment journalist. Between the glitzy celebrity interviews (You mean I get to ask Channing Tatum one question while fifty other college reporters are on the line? Awesome!) and the private movie screenings, (Oh man I hope the theater is full of very opinionated radio contest winners wielding free nachos and hot dogs. It is? Fantastic!) I knew I'd found a career for me.
After a semester of writing for the paper, I was promoted to Entertainment Editor. The position allowed me to cover things I always imagined entertainment reporters do: face-to-face interviews with actors, film junkets in Los Angeles, and best of all, I got to be in charge of a team of writers. That's when I discovered my passion for editing. I had always just called it "judging," only now I got to actually make changes. This concept revolutionized the way I thought about writing, and eventually changed the trajectory of my career.
I moved to New York City in January of 2011 (approximately one month after my graduation) for an editorial internship at Entertainment Weekly. Moving from San Diego to Manhattan in the dead of winter wasn't the easiest move, but it was one of the easiest decisions I've ever made. I learned more about the magazine and online writing industry at my six months at EW than I ever thought possible. The internship reaffirmed that I'm on the right path and gave me an opportunity to sharpen my writing and reporting skills.
I'm confident in my abilities as a writer and I'd love nothing more than to stay in NYC and pursue this career. In the meantime, I'll be blogging about television - my number one passion - and the upcoming 2011 fall season.
Thanks for tuning in and feel free to roam about the site.
Sincerely,
MagsWrites
Résumé
EXPERIENCE
Entertainment Weekly, New York, N.Y.
January 2011 – June 2011 (Editorial Intern)
- Produced content for Entertainment Weekly as well as the brand’s website, www.EW.com, including features for PopWatch, Inside Movies, MusicMix, Inside TV, and TV Recaps blogs on a daily basis
- Edited and fact-checked magazine features such as Feedback and Critical Mass
- Assisted with reporting and researching duties for movies, music, television and books articles
- Interviewed celebrities and public figures for online and print pieces
- Covered red carpet events, including the 2011 Tribeca Film Festival
- Pitched ideas for weekly features and assisted with packages such as the Harry Potter double issue, Oscar double issue, and Summer Movie Preview
The Daily Aztec, San Diego, Calif.
May 2010 – Dec 2010 (Entertainment Editor)
- Hired and managed a team of 10 staff writers
- Communicated with professionals in the entertainment field to set up interviews and press screenings
- Wrote reviews for movies, concerts, theater performances and various events in the entertainment industry
- Established weekly column for The Daily Aztec’s Features section
CultureShock Media, London, UK
June 2010 - August 2010 (Editorial Intern)
- Created content for published material for London museums such as the British Museum, Tate Modern, and Tate Britain.
- Updated website for FunkyVenues.com and FunkyWeddingVenues.com via online content management system
- Edited and arranged data for clients
- Called on representatives from clients such as Sotheby’s to arrange meetings
Media Arts Center San Diego, San Diego, Calif.
January 2009 – January 2010 (Executive Assistant)
- Wrote press releases for events and contacted sources outside Media Arts Center for their support
- Drafted and finalized business plans for a Media Arts Lab and managed the website
- Completed grant proposals and follow-ups
- Assisted with projects such as San Diego Latino Film Festival, Teen Producers Project and Digital Story Stations
Clear Channel Radio Intern, San Diego, Calif.
May 2008 - August 2008
- Assisted ROCK 105 and 101 KGB Promotions team
- Made business phone calls to clients
- Filed/organized documents
- Assisted on station events and outings, such as 2008 Mayhem Festival
- Attended weekly meetings and observed the inter-workings of the station
SKILLS
- Trained with Associated Press Style; Familiar with newsroom policies and format
- Experienced with content management systems such as Kintera, Wordpress and Blogger
- Comfortable interviewing and following leads
- Proficient with Outlook, Microsoft Word, Excel and PowerPoint, Adobe Photoshop, and InCopy
- Experienced social media user (Twitter, Facebook, Blogger, iPhone, etc.)
EDUCATION
Graduated in December 2010
Major: Communication
Minor: Journalism
Articles
From Entertainment Weekly:
Some of my favorites...
- Harry's Law season finale: Is this show a lost cause?
- The surprising story behind Elizabeth Berkeley's new book, 'Ask Elizabeth'
- Is James Taylor the coolest uncool guy ever? On the scene at Carnegie Hall's 120th anniversary with Taylor, Sting, Bette Midler, Bill Clinton(!) and more
- 'Breakout Kings' premiere: Cops and criminal unite! Also, clichés galore.
TV stuff:
- Who is the coolest ThunderCat? (Ho!)
- Did anyone else catch 'Real World: Las Vegas' finale last night?
- 'One Tree Hill' renewed for ninth season? More like 'Old Tree Hill.' Yeah, I said it.
- 'The Voice': Smooth crooner Tje Austin opens up about epic 'battles' and auditioning for 'Idol'
- Is Soul Daddy really 'America's Next Great Restaurant'? The EW Review
- A chat with Chris Pratt: From 'Parks & Rec's Andy to Brad Pitt's power-hitting costar
- 'My Life as Liz' season premiere: Return of the half-nerd half-ginger goddess
- 'Never Say Never' promo: Professor Sitch and Pauly D catch Bieber Fever
- 'Cougar Town': Lady friends unite!
Movie stuff:
- 'Bad Teacher' = 'School of Rock' + ?? It's EW Summer Movie Math!
- Patrick Wilson: An appreciation for one of Hollywood's most versatile stars
- 'Take Shelter' trailer: Like if M. Night Shyamalan directed 'Storm Chasers,' only better
- 'Bridesmaids' traffic cop Chris O'Dowd talks about being a heartthrob (kind of)
- Gary Busey cast in 'Piranha 3DD': A part fit for a Pepperoni Profit?
- 'X-Men: First Class' star Nicholas Hoult
- 'Arthur' trailer: Russell Brand is a busy bee
- Jon Bon Jovi Bon-joining the cast of 'New Year's Eve'
Music stuff:
Books stuff:
Web and everything else:
From The Daily Aztec:
- PASS THE POPCORN: 'The Fighter' serves up title shots and body shots
- PASS THE POPCORN: 'Tangled' marks the return of the princess
- PASS THE POPCORN: Hit the snooze button
- PASS THE POPCORN: Not quite 'Unstoppable'
- SNEAK PEEK: A knockout contender for Oscar season
- UNDER THE SCOPE: Getting 'Tangled' with Moore and Levi, Disney's newest royalty
- BARGAINS AND DEALS: Top stores offer bottom of the barrel prices
- LIVE AND DANGEROUS: A spectacular spectacle for a virtual band
Updates
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@maria_delrusso @anna_monette Totes weird! I need to buy those things you call vegetables.
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@anna_monette Last night's smoothie: strawberries, blueberries, almond milk, protein, avocado, Greek yogurt, and a few drops of vanilla. Mmm
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RT @POPSUGAREnt: Calling all #Marshmallows: behold the first pictures of @IMKristenBell on the #VeronicaMars movie set! http://t.co/ScMtZuF…
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ALL LEO ALL THE TIME http://t.co/d1BDN63vKl
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Guys. #WolfofWallStreet trailer: more entertaining than some entire movies I've seen this year: http://t.co/9VLaFEzBeS
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@anna_monette guess who got a blender aka a smoothie maker and will be blending every fruit to kingdom come this summer? THIS GIRL
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@SarahtheKovash Have you heard of this? http://t.co/C3tWdX0wjq
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MTV, don't think your repeatedly showing What a Girl Wants is going unnoticed.
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That does not rhyme with "hug me." #blurredlines
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Russell Brand and Danny McBride are def going to be playing a drinking game to Tabatha Takes Over tonight.
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@SarahGrieco @sarahthekovash OH snap! When are you in Grieco? Friday night plans?
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@SarahtheKovash @sarahgrieco Flying for you? JFK? Bus for Grieco?
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@SarahGrieco @SarahtheKovash When are you guys getting in?
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Why are they all using typewriters? Isn't it 2002? Even the Degrassi kids had computers by then. #TheWire
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Three more episodes of #TheWire down. WHAT'S UP NOW, INTERNET
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I want to note that I watched four episodes of The Wire last night instead of The Bachelorette or Real Housewives. Holding for applause.
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@SarahtheKovash @sarahgrieco That's the part that reminded me of you!
Profile
Assistant Editor, BuzzSugar.com at Sugar Inc.
Writing and Editing | Greater New York City Area, US
Summary
I love movies and TV. Lucky for me, I get to write about them. (One day maybe I'll skip the "about" part.)
Experience
- Mar 2012 - PresentAssistant Editor, BuzzSugar.com / Sugar Inc.
- Feb 2012 - PresentPhoto and Editorial Intern / Wetpaint
- Jan 2011 - PresentEditorial Intern / Entertainment WeeklyProduced content for Entertainment Weekly as well as the brand’s website, www.EW.com, including features for PopWatch, Inside Movies, MusicMix, Inside TV, and TV Recaps blogs on a daily basis; Edited and fact-checked magazine features such as Feedback and Critical Mass; Assisted with reporting and researching duties for movies, music, television and books articles; Interviewed celebrities and public figures for online and print pieces; Covered red carpet events, including the 2011 Tribeca Film Festival; Pitched ideas for weekly features and assisted with packages such as the Harry Potter double issue, Oscar double issue, and Summer Movie Preview
- 2011 - PresentHostess / Trump Soho Hotel
- Jan 2010 - PresentEntertainment Editor, Staff Writer / The Daily AztecHired, managed and edited a team of 10 staff writers; Communicated with professionals in the entertainment field to set up interviews and press screenings; Wrote reviews for movies, concerts, theater performances and various events in the entertainment industry; Established weekly column for The Daily Aztec’s Features section
- Jan 2009 - PresentEditorial Assistant / Media Arts Center San DiegoWrote press releases for events and contacted sources outside Media Arts Center for their support ; Drafted and finalized business plans for a Media Arts Lab and managed the website; Completed grant proposals and follow-ups; Assisted with projects such as San Diego Latino Film Festival, Teen Producers Project and Digital Story Stations
Education
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2006 - 2010San Diego State University-California State UniversityBachelor of Liberal Arts in Communication and Journalism
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2002 - 2006Miramonte High SchoolDiploma
Additional Information
Websites:
Posts
February 01, 02:31 PM
New Tonight:
American Idol (FOX, 8pm)
One Tree Hill (CW, 8pm)
Whitney (NBC, 8pm)
Are You There, Chelsea (NBC, 8:30pm)
Royal Pains (USA, 10pm)
Top Chef: Texas (Bravo, 10pm)
My DVR is failing so epically that it's one skipped episode of The Bachelor away from being tossed out onto the sidewalk. The good news is that it did manage to record The Real Housewives' Reunion - which thus far has not been overwhelmingly mind blowing. Keep in mind that it's only Part I (I'm using "I" here instead of "1" because this serious) of III (see how serious that looks?) so there's still a lot to cover. And already they've broached the following:
American Idol (FOX, 8pm)
One Tree Hill (CW, 8pm)
Whitney (NBC, 8pm)
Are You There, Chelsea (NBC, 8:30pm)
Royal Pains (USA, 10pm)
Top Chef: Texas (Bravo, 10pm)
My DVR is failing so epically that it's one skipped episode of The Bachelor away from being tossed out onto the sidewalk. The good news is that it did manage to record The Real Housewives' Reunion - which thus far has not been overwhelmingly mind blowing. Keep in mind that it's only Part I (I'm using "I" here instead of "1" because this serious) of III (see how serious that looks?) so there's still a lot to cover. And already they've broached the following:
- Lisa and Adrienne hate each other!
- Kim is an alcoholic!
- The only housewife who didn't want the show to air this season was Camille!
I am actually surprised at how much this first chapter turned into an attack on Lisa. It was a Vandertack. A Vambush. I mean, let's be real, Lisa is pretentious and two-faced and she's probably my least favorite housewife, but let's not pretend we all didn't say messed up stuff in those "private" confessionals. (I'm looking at you with your long, healthy, horse tail-like hair, Kyle.) I'm curious to see how much Kim reveals to Andy during the rehab visit - we are to assume she was drinking the whole time she was supposedly solely abusing prescription drugs, right?
Let's shift gears. I'm burning through Season 1 of The Vampire Diaries, and, as predicted, I'm fucking into it. I'm also fucking ashamed. I've been having flashbacks to 8th grade when my best friend and I watched The Rules of Attraction and she subsequently pasted a picture of Ian Somerhalder on her wall. I didn't get it then. I get it now. His face, combined with that salty vampiric disposition, might be the most compellingly attractive thing I've ever seen. I maintain that if I had to spend eternity with only one vampire-related series, it would be True Blood, but I have to say, Somerhalder's Damon Salvatore is giving Alexander Skarsgard's Eric Northman a run for his bronze Viking coins in the eternal companion department.
January 30, 02:00 PM
New Tonight:
Gossip Girl (CW, 8pm)
House (FOX, 8pm)
Pretty Little Liars (ABCFam, 8pm)
The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm)
Alcatraz (FOX, 9pm)
Being Human (SyFy, 9pm)
Fear Factor (NBC, 9pm)
Hart of Dixie (CW, 9pm)
Hoarders (A&E, 9pm)
The Lying Game (ABCFam, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Reunion Part I (Bravo, 9pm)
Fashion Police: SAG Awards Review (E!, 10pm)
So I'm going to start watching The Vampire Diaries today. No really, it's happening. Tonight, after the long day, I will crawl into bed and instead of watching something that will give me nightmares (my usual late-night movies include the likes of Michael Douglas, Glenn Close, Richard Gere - but not Runaway Bride Richard Gere, more like Primal Fear Richard Gere - and Macaulay Culkin as a homicidal preteen) I pledge to break into Season One of the CW's hit series involving angsty vampires forever stuck in the bodies of sexy gentlemen.
Why, you ask? Why would you stop watching Workaholics mid-season to start Vampire Diaries? Because, dear reader, I will be beginning to work at a place that writes a great deal about The Vampire Diaries and I'm thinking some preliminary knowledge might be required. Here's the great fact: Despite it's misgivings, Vampire Diaries, which I pledge to never shorten to VD even for convenience purposes, looks kind of awesome. Here's the second great fact: I will inevitably like anything, with the exception of Holocaust documentaries and shows that involve live birth, that I can watch consistently for at least 24 episodes. It's a weakness. Netflix is both my best friend and my bitter nemesis, as I find myself regularly losing sleep because I need to find out what happens to John Corbett on The United States of Tara.
On a separate note, my DVR refused to record American Idol last week and upon coming home Wednesday night after work at 10pm looking forward to nothing more than some Steven Tyler and a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter only to find my DVR empty as the hole in Jennifer Lopez's heart where Marc Anthony used to be, my rage could not be contained. Also, The Voice starts soon so dig that, Randy.
Thanks for tuning in - look forward to some vampy-themed posts in the near future.
Gossip Girl (CW, 8pm)
House (FOX, 8pm)
Pretty Little Liars (ABCFam, 8pm)
The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm)
Alcatraz (FOX, 9pm)
Being Human (SyFy, 9pm)
Fear Factor (NBC, 9pm)
Hart of Dixie (CW, 9pm)
Hoarders (A&E, 9pm)
The Lying Game (ABCFam, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Reunion Part I (Bravo, 9pm)
Fashion Police: SAG Awards Review (E!, 10pm)
So I'm going to start watching The Vampire Diaries today. No really, it's happening. Tonight, after the long day, I will crawl into bed and instead of watching something that will give me nightmares (my usual late-night movies include the likes of Michael Douglas, Glenn Close, Richard Gere - but not Runaway Bride Richard Gere, more like Primal Fear Richard Gere - and Macaulay Culkin as a homicidal preteen) I pledge to break into Season One of the CW's hit series involving angsty vampires forever stuck in the bodies of sexy gentlemen.
Why, you ask? Why would you stop watching Workaholics mid-season to start Vampire Diaries? Because, dear reader, I will be beginning to work at a place that writes a great deal about The Vampire Diaries and I'm thinking some preliminary knowledge might be required. Here's the great fact: Despite it's misgivings, Vampire Diaries, which I pledge to never shorten to VD even for convenience purposes, looks kind of awesome. Here's the second great fact: I will inevitably like anything, with the exception of Holocaust documentaries and shows that involve live birth, that I can watch consistently for at least 24 episodes. It's a weakness. Netflix is both my best friend and my bitter nemesis, as I find myself regularly losing sleep because I need to find out what happens to John Corbett on The United States of Tara.
On a separate note, my DVR refused to record American Idol last week and upon coming home Wednesday night after work at 10pm looking forward to nothing more than some Steven Tyler and a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter only to find my DVR empty as the hole in Jennifer Lopez's heart where Marc Anthony used to be, my rage could not be contained. Also, The Voice starts soon so dig that, Randy.
Thanks for tuning in - look forward to some vampy-themed posts in the near future.
January 23, 03:44 PM
New Tonight:
Gossip Girl (CW, 8pm)
House (FOX, 8pm)
Pretty Little Liars (ABCFam, 8pm)
The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm)
Alcatraz (FOX, 9pm)
Hart of Dixie (CW, 9pm)
Hoarders (A&E, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, season finale (Bravo, 9pm)
Castle (ABC, 10pm)
Good afternoon and welcome to my day off. It's slightly less interesting than Ferris Bueller's Day Off but decidedly more quality than Baby's Day Out. I just viewed last night's post-Playoff episode of American Idol and though thoroughly enjoyable, I feel compelled to mention this episode seemed really production-heavy. Having lived in San Diego for four and a half years, thus being what some might call an "expert" on the city, holding auditions in San Diego Harbor is probably the single stupidest decision Idol's ever made. Sure it's beautiful, but the airport, is literally paces away. Plane wings practically tickle the high rises down there.
Having said that, I was much more concerned with the intentional noises. They're getting waaay too literal with the sound track. It's not enough to exploit the fact that Jim Carrey's daughter was auditioning with pictures, but when they started in with John Mayer's "Fathers and Daughters," unquestionably the worst song I've ever banned from my ears, I had to fast forward. (I'm not kidding around, the melody gives me migraines.) Then when she got through - which is great, I totally believe it's because she's a good singer and not because they were afraid he'd go all The Mask on them - we have to listen to "Go Your Own Way." Get it? Because she's making her way in this darned world!
Let's celebrate my day off by watching a bunch of Suburgatory and catching up on Up All Night. Yeah? Good call, we should probably do Revenge too so everyone can stop saying "Ooooh it gets SO good!" to me. Let's talk about it tomorrow.
Gossip Girl (CW, 8pm)
House (FOX, 8pm)
Pretty Little Liars (ABCFam, 8pm)
The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm)
Alcatraz (FOX, 9pm)
Hart of Dixie (CW, 9pm)
Hoarders (A&E, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, season finale (Bravo, 9pm)
Castle (ABC, 10pm)
Good afternoon and welcome to my day off. It's slightly less interesting than Ferris Bueller's Day Off but decidedly more quality than Baby's Day Out. I just viewed last night's post-Playoff episode of American Idol and though thoroughly enjoyable, I feel compelled to mention this episode seemed really production-heavy. Having lived in San Diego for four and a half years, thus being what some might call an "expert" on the city, holding auditions in San Diego Harbor is probably the single stupidest decision Idol's ever made. Sure it's beautiful, but the airport, is literally paces away. Plane wings practically tickle the high rises down there.
Having said that, I was much more concerned with the intentional noises. They're getting waaay too literal with the sound track. It's not enough to exploit the fact that Jim Carrey's daughter was auditioning with pictures, but when they started in with John Mayer's "Fathers and Daughters," unquestionably the worst song I've ever banned from my ears, I had to fast forward. (I'm not kidding around, the melody gives me migraines.) Then when she got through - which is great, I totally believe it's because she's a good singer and not because they were afraid he'd go all The Mask on them - we have to listen to "Go Your Own Way." Get it? Because she's making her way in this darned world!
Let's celebrate my day off by watching a bunch of Suburgatory and catching up on Up All Night. Yeah? Good call, we should probably do Revenge too so everyone can stop saying "Ooooh it gets SO good!" to me. Let's talk about it tomorrow.
January 19, 01:38 PM
New Tonight:
30 Rock (NBC, 8pm)
American Idol (FOX, 8pm)
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8pm)
The Vampire Diaries (CW, 8pm)
Parks and Recreation (NBC, 8:30pm)
Grey's Anatomy (ABC, 9pm)
Person of Interest (CBS, 9pm)
Project Runway All Stars (Lifetime, 9pm)
The Office (NBC, 9pm)
The Secret Circle (CW, 9pm)
Up All Night (NBC, 9:30pm)
Archer (FX, 10pm)
Jersey Shore (MTV, 10pm)
Private Practice (ABC, 10pm)
The Firm (NBC, 10pm)
The Mentalist (CBS, 10pm)
Unsupervised, Pilot (FX, 10:30pm)
What you must think of me. I mean, don't act like you never took a vacation. And to be fair, I've been back in town and working all week, so don't you get all judgey-eyes on me. Nobody likes a judge...r.
What is indefensible is my utter lack of television consumption over the past few weeks. I returned to NYC last week to find DVR packed to the gills (that's an expression, right?) with HIMYM, Suburgatory, Hallmark movies and RHoBH. (One of those things isn't mine.) Is this what coming out of a coma feels like? Jersey Shore is back, Project Runway All Stars has begun and Mob Wives has been on for THREE WEEKS?
It's fucking overwhelming. I've had approximately four hours to myself over the past seven days and Kim and Kyle have just had to wait. It's like I can feel them trying to crawl their way out of the DVR box. Kyle's all "Why are you doing this to meeee? Why does this always happen to meeee?" and Kim's all "I'm fine, I told you I was happy. See, I'm happy, Kyle!! HAPPY I SAY!" Unfortunately the ladies are going to have to wait a little longer; today's a busy day and I have to prioritize. Today is Thursday, and straight flush beats a full house. In this situation, "straight flush" is representing the new season of American Idol that premiered last night and "full house" is another episode of Taylor's tragic life playing out before our insensitive, hungry eyes.
A few reflective notes:
30 Rock (NBC, 8pm)
American Idol (FOX, 8pm)
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8pm)
The Vampire Diaries (CW, 8pm)
Parks and Recreation (NBC, 8:30pm)
Grey's Anatomy (ABC, 9pm)
Person of Interest (CBS, 9pm)
Project Runway All Stars (Lifetime, 9pm)
The Office (NBC, 9pm)
The Secret Circle (CW, 9pm)
Up All Night (NBC, 9:30pm)
Archer (FX, 10pm)
Jersey Shore (MTV, 10pm)
Private Practice (ABC, 10pm)
The Firm (NBC, 10pm)
The Mentalist (CBS, 10pm)
Unsupervised, Pilot (FX, 10:30pm)
What you must think of me. I mean, don't act like you never took a vacation. And to be fair, I've been back in town and working all week, so don't you get all judgey-eyes on me. Nobody likes a judge...r.
What is indefensible is my utter lack of television consumption over the past few weeks. I returned to NYC last week to find DVR packed to the gills (that's an expression, right?) with HIMYM, Suburgatory, Hallmark movies and RHoBH. (One of those things isn't mine.) Is this what coming out of a coma feels like? Jersey Shore is back, Project Runway All Stars has begun and Mob Wives has been on for THREE WEEKS?
It's fucking overwhelming. I've had approximately four hours to myself over the past seven days and Kim and Kyle have just had to wait. It's like I can feel them trying to crawl their way out of the DVR box. Kyle's all "Why are you doing this to meeee? Why does this always happen to meeee?" and Kim's all "I'm fine, I told you I was happy. See, I'm happy, Kyle!! HAPPY I SAY!" Unfortunately the ladies are going to have to wait a little longer; today's a busy day and I have to prioritize. Today is Thursday, and straight flush beats a full house. In this situation, "straight flush" is representing the new season of American Idol that premiered last night and "full house" is another episode of Taylor's tragic life playing out before our insensitive, hungry eyes.
A few reflective notes:
- Kelsey Grammer is returning to guest on 30 Rock tonight. I'm sorry but when is his karma kicking in? Dude cheats on his wife, knocks up the mistress-turned-wife, and as punishment he wins a Golden Globe and another guest spot on NBC's golden goose? I'd like to speak to somebody important about this.
- Is anyone still watching The Office? I don't want to say it's terrible now because I feel like that's unfair, but I've had approximately zero resolve to watch it since Steve Carell left. I read Mindy Kaling's book during my extended vacay and though it made me like her a lot more as a creative individual, it still wasn't enough to consider leaving my TV poised on The Office while I shower just to improve it's ratings.
- Clearly it's a busy TV night but if I may urge you, consider watching Unsupervised tonight. Yes, it's a cartoon but now that Allen Gregory is cancelled, (pause for the single tear) where are you getting your off-kilter adult-friendly humor? Don't pretend like you haven't been watching Beavis and Butt-head, I know you better than that.
Alright, I'm gonna start chipping away at DVR. Wish me luck. Thanks for tuning in, and let's do this again, soonish.
December 31, 12:51 PM
New (Year's!) Tonight:
New Year's Rockin' Eve: The 40th Anniversary Party (ABC, 8pm)
Strange Sex: The Year's Best (TLC, 8pm)
Metal Evolution (VH1, 10pm)
New Year's Eve With Carson Daly (NBC, 10pm)
Dick Clark's Primetime New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest 2012 (ABC, 10pm)
Happy almost New Year's, everyone. I am located in the one place I told myself I would not be when the end of the Mayan calendar approached: New York City. I'm not sure why I would assume the end of the world would begin (and possibly only occur) in Manhattan but I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. Nevertheless, my apologies for taking the week off. What am I saying? You weren't reading anyway. Admit it, you were too busy watching the yule log with rapt attention and watching compilations of the best viral videos from 2011.
This brings me to the purpose of this post. I'm not planning on aggregating any lists for your viewing pleasure. I refuse to give in to rating celebrities worst looks for the year. God knows I would sooner carve off my own ear (Van Gogh style) than scour the net for the cutest baby videos of 2011. I would, however, urge you to watch the best comedy videos.
No, I'm too lazy to do any of that myself, but I do want to comment on a blog that The Village Voice posted in August. (I've been told timeliness is my strong suit.) A friend of a friend sent me the link last night and I'm fascinated; apparently The Voice acquired a copy of the much-mythologized Real World contract from MTV. The details of the air-tight contract are something I've always been curious about and my suspicions have been confirmed: people are literally signing their life away. I proposed a research paper on some aspect of The Real World during my junior year in college but my professor rejected the idea that I could fit it within the confines of rhetorical criticism. He was right and I ended up analyzing a speech Jim Jones gave to the People's Temple.
My failed studies aside, this Real World contract is bananas. The Voice gives a highlights reel of the worst offenses but what really gets me is the fact that they acknowledge that under ordinary circumstances, all of their stipulations would be considered a "serious invasion of privacy." Could be be referring to the fact MTV gains rights to enter your personal home and take anything they want as long as they return it at the conclusion of production? How about the fact that they can - and likely will - monitor your email and phone calls, though you'll have to pay for the long-distance ones yourself? Then there's the fact that you grant them access to all your government records, your life story, and the ability to manipulate that however they would like, even if it means portraying you in a false light.
If this is the contract for MTV, you can guarantee that the Jersey Shore and Tough Love casts are signing identical papers while the Real Housewives are likely signing something even more inclusive, especially given the year the franchise has had. Meanwhile, can you even imagine the extreme precautions Fear Factor producers are taking?
I've got real work to do - at a company that didn't make me sign a contract requiring me to hang-glide - so I have to go. Thanks for tuning in and be safe tonight.
New Year's Rockin' Eve: The 40th Anniversary Party (ABC, 8pm)
Strange Sex: The Year's Best (TLC, 8pm)
Metal Evolution (VH1, 10pm)
New Year's Eve With Carson Daly (NBC, 10pm)
Dick Clark's Primetime New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest 2012 (ABC, 10pm)
Happy almost New Year's, everyone. I am located in the one place I told myself I would not be when the end of the Mayan calendar approached: New York City. I'm not sure why I would assume the end of the world would begin (and possibly only occur) in Manhattan but I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. Nevertheless, my apologies for taking the week off. What am I saying? You weren't reading anyway. Admit it, you were too busy watching the yule log with rapt attention and watching compilations of the best viral videos from 2011.
This brings me to the purpose of this post. I'm not planning on aggregating any lists for your viewing pleasure. I refuse to give in to rating celebrities worst looks for the year. God knows I would sooner carve off my own ear (Van Gogh style) than scour the net for the cutest baby videos of 2011. I would, however, urge you to watch the best comedy videos.
No, I'm too lazy to do any of that myself, but I do want to comment on a blog that The Village Voice posted in August. (I've been told timeliness is my strong suit.) A friend of a friend sent me the link last night and I'm fascinated; apparently The Voice acquired a copy of the much-mythologized Real World contract from MTV. The details of the air-tight contract are something I've always been curious about and my suspicions have been confirmed: people are literally signing their life away. I proposed a research paper on some aspect of The Real World during my junior year in college but my professor rejected the idea that I could fit it within the confines of rhetorical criticism. He was right and I ended up analyzing a speech Jim Jones gave to the People's Temple.
My failed studies aside, this Real World contract is bananas. The Voice gives a highlights reel of the worst offenses but what really gets me is the fact that they acknowledge that under ordinary circumstances, all of their stipulations would be considered a "serious invasion of privacy." Could be be referring to the fact MTV gains rights to enter your personal home and take anything they want as long as they return it at the conclusion of production? How about the fact that they can - and likely will - monitor your email and phone calls, though you'll have to pay for the long-distance ones yourself? Then there's the fact that you grant them access to all your government records, your life story, and the ability to manipulate that however they would like, even if it means portraying you in a false light.
If this is the contract for MTV, you can guarantee that the Jersey Shore and Tough Love casts are signing identical papers while the Real Housewives are likely signing something even more inclusive, especially given the year the franchise has had. Meanwhile, can you even imagine the extreme precautions Fear Factor producers are taking?
I've got real work to do - at a company that didn't make me sign a contract requiring me to hang-glide - so I have to go. Thanks for tuning in and be safe tonight.
December 26, 02:24 PM
New Tonight:
When TV Guide is listing Rizzoli & Isles as an Editor's Pick, you may as well go out and see Mission Impossible tonight with the rest of the world.
This holiday season has been an important period of learning for me. After three nights at home, I've picked up a couple choice lessons. The first being that making yourself a post-dessert sampler of cakes at 11pm does not make you feel excellent in the morning. It doesn't matter which coconut cake is better; just let it go. Secondly, premium cable fucking rules and I'd consider moving back home if it meant I partake in water cooler discussions the day after Boardwalk Empire airs instead of trying to engage peers a year later when Netflix gets season two. My discussions usually go as follows:
Me: "My goodness, did you see that KKK drive-by?"
Peer: "That was a whole year ago, you loser! We're all gonna go eat lunch without you now. Don't even try to sit with us this time."
Well, no more eating my chicken sandwiches in the bathroom stall for me! Though I have to admit, I'm struck a little senseless by the number of programs available for the watching. A couple days ago I tried to conquer Homeland, but between Claire Danes making that scrunchy, how-could-this-happen face and the sheer amount of attention you need to pay to understand what's going on, I only got two episodes down. I'm hoping that's enough to fool people into thinking I read important things like The New York Times business section. Yesterday was a bust as far as TV, all that family time and cake-eating got in the way. But today I'm faced with either finishing last summer's True Blood, scoffing through the farewell season of Entourage, or attempting season two of Boardwalk Empire. As much as I yearn to indulge in Summer Heights High for a second time, there's something about watching Nucky Thompson that makes me feel so...educated.
Understandably, it is the day after Christmas and after all that eggnog and brandy, some of you may feel slightly less up to challenging, historical story lines. For you I offer New Girl's Schmidt's The City-inspired online dating profile from 2008. Enjoy.
When TV Guide is listing Rizzoli & Isles as an Editor's Pick, you may as well go out and see Mission Impossible tonight with the rest of the world.
This holiday season has been an important period of learning for me. After three nights at home, I've picked up a couple choice lessons. The first being that making yourself a post-dessert sampler of cakes at 11pm does not make you feel excellent in the morning. It doesn't matter which coconut cake is better; just let it go. Secondly, premium cable fucking rules and I'd consider moving back home if it meant I partake in water cooler discussions the day after Boardwalk Empire airs instead of trying to engage peers a year later when Netflix gets season two. My discussions usually go as follows:
Me: "My goodness, did you see that KKK drive-by?"
Peer: "That was a whole year ago, you loser! We're all gonna go eat lunch without you now. Don't even try to sit with us this time."
Well, no more eating my chicken sandwiches in the bathroom stall for me! Though I have to admit, I'm struck a little senseless by the number of programs available for the watching. A couple days ago I tried to conquer Homeland, but between Claire Danes making that scrunchy, how-could-this-happen face and the sheer amount of attention you need to pay to understand what's going on, I only got two episodes down. I'm hoping that's enough to fool people into thinking I read important things like The New York Times business section. Yesterday was a bust as far as TV, all that family time and cake-eating got in the way. But today I'm faced with either finishing last summer's True Blood, scoffing through the farewell season of Entourage, or attempting season two of Boardwalk Empire. As much as I yearn to indulge in Summer Heights High for a second time, there's something about watching Nucky Thompson that makes me feel so...educated.
Understandably, it is the day after Christmas and after all that eggnog and brandy, some of you may feel slightly less up to challenging, historical story lines. For you I offer New Girl's Schmidt's The City-inspired online dating profile from 2008. Enjoy.
December 24, 02:51 PM
New Tonight:
Doctor Who: Best of Christmas (BBC-A, 8pm)
The Nerdist: Year in Review (BBC-A, 9pm)
...because apparently the British are the only ones who care about original programming the night before Baby Jesus' birth. Go ahead and have some high tea this afternoon in their honor.
Doctor Who: Best of Christmas (BBC-A, 8pm)
The Nerdist: Year in Review (BBC-A, 9pm)
...because apparently the British are the only ones who care about original programming the night before Baby Jesus' birth. Go ahead and have some high tea this afternoon in their honor.
December 20, 06:32 PM
New Tonight:
True Hollywood Story: Timbaland (E!, 9pm)
Kathy Griffin: Tired Hooker (Bravo, 10pm)
Storage Wars (A&E, 10pm)
Teen Mom 2 (MTV, 10pm)
Currently Watching: Tough Love Reunion Show
Last night's Real Housewives was an explosive spectacle of clichés, awkward encounters, and me hating DanaPam. Let's talk about a few items.
True Hollywood Story: Timbaland (E!, 9pm)
Kathy Griffin: Tired Hooker (Bravo, 10pm)
Storage Wars (A&E, 10pm)
Teen Mom 2 (MTV, 10pm)
Currently Watching: Tough Love Reunion Show
Last night's Real Housewives was an explosive spectacle of clichés, awkward encounters, and me hating DanaPam. Let's talk about a few items.
- Why is Sober House's Jennifer Gimenez all up in this scene now? Do all reality "stars" belong to a secret club in Beverly Hills where they give each other Botox and lessons on fighting in public? Do they need some type of SAG card to get in?
- Speaking of inflated lips, a freshly touched up Kyle was so excited about her annual white party that the eventual break-down was nearly hard to watch. Until I realized, oh wait, this situation has nothing to do with Kyle.
- Dana is the worst. Nobody wants to see your wacky pictures.
- I like Brandi more and more. I'm really into her "play dead and maybe the ruddy-faced bear will move on" approach to dealing with Kim. The only thing that bothered me about that sequence was the fact that I wanted to reach through the screen and pull Brandi's dress over her left boob. Cover up, woman.
- Is it just me or was the limo scene leading up to the party encounter more uncomfortable than the confrontation itself? The bizarre interaction between Taylor ("We're gonna have fun tonight!" and Russel ("I'm gonna drink this whole bottle!") was forced, possibly rehearsed, and not fun for anyone. Though I am assuming at least one of those predictions came to fruition that night.
Other thoughts?
As you can tell from the above listed new programs tonight, the fall TV season is coming to a close and we're heading into hiatus territory. The idea of having a break from new programming during the holidays never struck me as a sensical one. Let me get this straight, not only are we expected to go home and spend hours making small talk with extended family, (no offense, Grandma) but you're not even going to reward me with a fresh episode of New Girl for my efforts? Thanks, status quo.
As the last episode of American Horror Story trickles out of the canteen tomorrow, I feel compelled to note that the series has been one of my favorites this year. This has been eclipsed by my well-documented infatuation with X Factor and RH but let me assure you, the love is there. The fact that I've voraciously consumed every offal-filled episode at least within 24 hours of airing (fuck you, commercials) is illustrative of the fact that I simply have no idea of my own taste. Upon seeing the mere print ads in October, I was convinced forcing myself to watch the show (in the name of journalistic integrity, no less) would be a mistake. Bear in mind the fact that I still have nightmares about The Blair Witch Project, a movie I've never seen, and that following my initial viewing of episode one (which I've seen multiple times at this point), I had to plug in my blown-glass monster nightlight. I'm 23 years old.
I have to admit that my presumption of what AHS would be was wrong. I thought it would be Ryan Murphy's attempt at making a horror epic. Some type of Roots-like take on Amityville Horror. As it turns out, AHS has been an intriguing, disturbing, wink-nod of a series. The acting is solidly over-the-top (see: Jessica Lange) but it's solid, it's twisted, and it recalls the same cringe-worthy excellence of Nip/Tuck by celebrating the ridiculata.
In any case, I hope your DVR is full because tonight's about to be a bust of an evening. Let's reconvene later. Thanks for tuning in.
December 18, 11:31 AM
New Tonight:
Survivor: South Pacific (CBS, 8, 10pm)
Tough Love Miami: Reunion (VH1, 8pm)
Allen Gregory (FOX, 8:30pm)
Dexter, season 6 finale (Showtime, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 9pm)
Hell on Wheels (AMC, 10pm)
Homeland, season 1 finale (Showtime, 10pm)
Currently watching: Last night's SNL with host Jimmy Fallon and musical guest Michael Bublé
I fuckin' miss Jimmy Fallon, man. On the other hand, Jason Sudeikis as Jesus Christ is like a swift slap in Will Ferrell's face. How darest you, writers?
Survivor: South Pacific (CBS, 8, 10pm)
Tough Love Miami: Reunion (VH1, 8pm)
Allen Gregory (FOX, 8:30pm)
Dexter, season 6 finale (Showtime, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 9pm)
Hell on Wheels (AMC, 10pm)
Homeland, season 1 finale (Showtime, 10pm)
Currently watching: Last night's SNL with host Jimmy Fallon and musical guest Michael Bublé
I fuckin' miss Jimmy Fallon, man. On the other hand, Jason Sudeikis as Jesus Christ is like a swift slap in Will Ferrell's face. How darest you, writers?
December 16, 01:51 PM
New Tonight:
Chuck (NBC, 8pm)
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC, 8, 9pm)
Grimm (NBC, 9pm)
The Life and Times of Tim: Season 3 premiere (HBO, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Sneak Peek (Bravo, 9pm)
Fashion Police (E!, 10:30pm)
I'm pretty embarrassed. I've literally never heard of The Life and Times of Tim and it's already on Season 3. That's two years that I've missed news, ad campaigns, and articles about a show. How could this escape my attention? Twitter? Google Reader? What do you have to say for yourselves?
It might be time to spring for the premium cable package.
Chuck (NBC, 8pm)
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC, 8, 9pm)
Grimm (NBC, 9pm)
The Life and Times of Tim: Season 3 premiere (HBO, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Sneak Peek (Bravo, 9pm)
Fashion Police (E!, 10:30pm)
I'm pretty embarrassed. I've literally never heard of The Life and Times of Tim and it's already on Season 3. That's two years that I've missed news, ad campaigns, and articles about a show. How could this escape my attention? Twitter? Google Reader? What do you have to say for yourselves?
It might be time to spring for the premium cable package.
December 15, 05:42 PM
New Tonight:
The X Factor (FOX, 8pm)
Rules of Engagement (CBS, 8:30pm)
Person of Interest (CBS, 9pm)
Beavis and Butt-head (MTC, 10, 10:30pm)
Burn Notice (USA, 10pm)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX, 10pm)
Prime Suspect (NBC, 10pm)
The Mentalist (CBS, 10pm)
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Sneak Peek (Bravo, 10pm)
The League (FX, 10:31pm)
Currently watching: The X Factor
Oh good God, I think I'm choking on my scone. Simon just told Marcus his rendition of "Never Gonna Dance Again" was "horrific," just as I was remarking to my imaginary friend that it seems out of place outside the Chippendale's stage. Aside from that, a few talking points:
The X Factor (FOX, 8pm)
Rules of Engagement (CBS, 8:30pm)
Person of Interest (CBS, 9pm)
Beavis and Butt-head (MTC, 10, 10:30pm)
Burn Notice (USA, 10pm)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX, 10pm)
Prime Suspect (NBC, 10pm)
The Mentalist (CBS, 10pm)
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Sneak Peek (Bravo, 10pm)
The League (FX, 10:31pm)
Currently watching: The X Factor
Oh good God, I think I'm choking on my scone. Simon just told Marcus his rendition of "Never Gonna Dance Again" was "horrific," just as I was remarking to my imaginary friend that it seems out of place outside the Chippendale's stage. Aside from that, a few talking points:
- "Your spirit transcends across the universe"? Can someone start making needlepoint pillows with Nicole's crazytalk on them?
- It's fucking impossible not to like Melanie Amaro. Girl admits that her biggest motivator for winning this competition is the money and it's tough not to respect that. It's also tough not to love that a girl who kills "Feeling Good" but still freaks out like a thirteen-year-old when Mariah Carey tweets her.
- I know Josh is great and everything, but can we put a singing competition-wide ban on Jeff Buckley's version of "Hallelujah"? It's possibly the most sacred, personal song of all time and it hurts my soul when people try to "make it their own," let alone criticize it, change it, or have Nicole's faux-motions associated with it. I don't like the rendition that the guy with the guitar in the Spring Street station does and I didn't care for Josh's either.
December 14, 04:14 PM
New Tonight:
Survivor: South Pacific (CBS, 8pm)
The X Factor (FOX, 8pm)
Criminal Minds (CBS, 9pm)
Work of Art (Bravo, 9pm)
I Hate My Teenage Daughter (FOX, 9:30pm)
American Horror Story (FX, 10pm)
CSI (CBS, 10pm)
Psych (USA, 10pm)
The Real World: San Diego (MTV, 10pm)
The Soup (E!, 10pm)
Top Chef: Texas (Bravo, 10pm)
Currently Watching: Glee
The Scrooge in me needs to shoot some holes in this episode. Star Wars on Glee? Geeks meets gleeks? One wonders, is there really much crossover between 14-year-old girls who dream of an on-the-mouth kiss form Chord Overstreet and Comic Con Wookie enthusiasts? Also, are Breadstix and that cafe where Kurt and Blaine have awkward interactions with scheming gay rivals the only places in town? There's no way you could get even one of those mod couches for Artie's shoestring budget of $800. If my boyfriend ever named a star after himself and gave it to me for Christmas, I would punch him in the face. And finally, contributing money to the Salvation Army is endearing, but having to stand there and ring the bell too? It's just never enough, is it?
Having said all that, the handsomely manicured Blaine looks ideal for a black-and-white Christmas special and this truly is wholesome, socially self-aware entertainment at its best, folks.
Survivor: South Pacific (CBS, 8pm)
The X Factor (FOX, 8pm)
Criminal Minds (CBS, 9pm)
Work of Art (Bravo, 9pm)
I Hate My Teenage Daughter (FOX, 9:30pm)
American Horror Story (FX, 10pm)
CSI (CBS, 10pm)
Psych (USA, 10pm)
The Real World: San Diego (MTV, 10pm)
The Soup (E!, 10pm)
Top Chef: Texas (Bravo, 10pm)
Currently Watching: Glee
The Scrooge in me needs to shoot some holes in this episode. Star Wars on Glee? Geeks meets gleeks? One wonders, is there really much crossover between 14-year-old girls who dream of an on-the-mouth kiss form Chord Overstreet and Comic Con Wookie enthusiasts? Also, are Breadstix and that cafe where Kurt and Blaine have awkward interactions with scheming gay rivals the only places in town? There's no way you could get even one of those mod couches for Artie's shoestring budget of $800. If my boyfriend ever named a star after himself and gave it to me for Christmas, I would punch him in the face. And finally, contributing money to the Salvation Army is endearing, but having to stand there and ring the bell too? It's just never enough, is it?
Having said all that, the handsomely manicured Blaine looks ideal for a black-and-white Christmas special and this truly is wholesome, socially self-aware entertainment at its best, folks.
December 13, 11:33 PM
New Tonight:
Glee (FOX, 8pm)
Last Man Standing (ABC, 8pm)
NCIS (CBS, 8pm)
NCIS: LA (CBS, 9pm)
New Girl (FOX, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 9pm)
Raising Hope (FOX, 9:30pm)
Teen Mom 2 (MTV, 10pm)
Unforgettable (CBS, 10pm)
I don't know who decided HD was the wave of the future but is there any way we can go back to good ol' low quality definition? Maybe even smear the camera with a bit of vaseline like Diane Sawyer does for her interviews so everything is all glowy and no one can detect the deep crevasses in her face?
Glee (FOX, 8pm)
Last Man Standing (ABC, 8pm)
NCIS (CBS, 8pm)
NCIS: LA (CBS, 9pm)
New Girl (FOX, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 9pm)
Raising Hope (FOX, 9:30pm)
Teen Mom 2 (MTV, 10pm)
Unforgettable (CBS, 10pm)
I don't know who decided HD was the wave of the future but is there any way we can go back to good ol' low quality definition? Maybe even smear the camera with a bit of vaseline like Diane Sawyer does for her interviews so everything is all glowy and no one can detect the deep crevasses in her face?
December 08, 03:22 PM
New Tonight:
Community (NBC, 8pm)
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8pm)
The X Factor (FOX, 8pm)
Wipeout (ABC, 8pm)
Parks & Recreation (NBC, 8:30pm)
Rules of Engagement (CBS, 8:30pm)
Bones (FOX, 9pm)
Person of Interest (CBS, 9pm)
The Office (NBC, 9pm)
Whitney (NBC, 9:30pm)
Beavis & Butthead (MTV, 10pm)
Burn Notice (USA, 10pm)
Grimm (NBC, 10pm)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX, 10pm)
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - preview ep (Bravo, 10pm)
Good Vibes (MTV, 10:30pm)
The League (FX, 10:30pm)
It's still Thursday, right? The fact that Grimm and a RHOBH preview ep are on tonight is throwing me off.
We're gonna do something different today. Due to simplicity purposes, this site is primarily dedicated to discussing (a) my pervasive insecurities and (b) television. Oft, these two intersect. However I feel compelled to mention a different type of program today. The podcast. Podcast, you say, blaspheme! My radio provides me with all the ear-based entertainment I can handle! I know, I understand. Radio has been around ever since the days when I was too young to be left alone so my mom had to drag me around town and we'd listen to the respected Drs. Dean Edell and Laura. (To this day whenever I have an issue, I think to myself "What would Dr. Laura say?" And then I do the opposite.) Perhaps radio's been around a little longer than 1994 but that's the extent of my memory.
In any case, radio has either become hideously annoying or I've simply listened to one to many advertisements for Sleep Train to ever think of touching the dial again. So when podcasts started being "a thing" a few years ago, my reaction was marked by my usual pattern, (1) confusion (2) fear surrounding my own confusion (3) an arbitrary decision to admonish the new technology as "stupid" and "useless" (4) propelled by an article, I finally try it (5) years after the early adopters and late adopters, I finally accept, embrace, and advocate for the technology.
It's not pretty and as a media enthusiast, it's not a pattern I'm proud of, but it's a time-honored tradition encompassing everything from technology to fashion. Dates all the way back to third grade with Beanie Babies and continued through high school with the emergence of Ugg Boots, hugging your friends in the hallway (you just saw each other 45 minutes ago you jerks!) and, most recently, The Walking Dead. My ignorance and stubbornness knows no boundaries. We all learn in different ways.
Back to the task at hand: podcasts. In this case, the article about Marc Maron's WTF that propelled be to break my podcast embargo (step 4) was particularly poignant because I was working at EW at the time. As fear of drives most of my actions, I immediately went home and downloaded a couple of episodes featuring some recognizable guests so I could discuss the show with coworkers if necessary. It took my until a roadtrip a couple weeks later to finally listen. Boom. Struck with obsession.
Let's be clear. I don't know shit about the comedy world. Aside from the handful of shows at Caroline's and the Comedy Cellar, I've never made a habit of going to clubs. I maintained that MADtv was better than SNL until I was 17. I read Steve Martin's Born Standing Up and it made me hate him. (Though watching him nurse a banjo at Carnegie Hall made me like him again.) However, since this summer when the Amy Poehler episode broke my cherry, (writing that made my feel squeamish) I've listened to every newly posted podcast and raided the archives for the notables, including two uncomfortable encounters with Carlos Mencia and a failed attempt to interview Gallagher.
Not only does it make me want to hear more about the fanatically self-deprecating Marc Maron, it's provided me with temporary sanity, (see: the intro to the Thanksgiving ep with Dr. Steve) it's thought-evoking (a quality I've come to rely of RHOBH for) and it's been the beginning of a keen interest in the comedy scene. The stars of my Netflix queue of late have resembled more of a who's who of 90s comics. Who's the Caboose introduced me to Sam Seder, who seems fucking brilliant. You're Fired made me feel better about my own trainwreck of a life. I'm finally watching Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work and am horrified that our generation will probably only know her as the host of Fashion Police. I Am Comic. American: Bill Hicks. It's amazing. The people who make me laugh are the only people that feel more anxious and insecure than I do. After an episode of WTF, I feel like an emotional rock star.
One thing lead to another and following Chris Hardwick's appearance on WTF I started listening to The Nerdist. Again, late fucking adopter. I take full responsibility. But it's amazing. It's smart. It's nostalgic. I can start and stop it as many times as I want. It makes me feel more confident in my own social skills. And perhaps most importantly, it's not marked by DJs making wacky sounds or Mattress Discounters commercials every 22 minutes. What more could I ask for?
So on the days that I'm not here, the days when I can't find time to sit down and finish AHS or Glee, know that I'm still being entertained. My ear buds are still feeding me information of cultural semi-relevance. And yours can too! Because I'm giving The Podcast a seal of approval. There it is, in retractable internet ink.
Community (NBC, 8pm)
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8pm)
The X Factor (FOX, 8pm)
Wipeout (ABC, 8pm)
Parks & Recreation (NBC, 8:30pm)
Rules of Engagement (CBS, 8:30pm)
Bones (FOX, 9pm)
Person of Interest (CBS, 9pm)
The Office (NBC, 9pm)
Whitney (NBC, 9:30pm)
Beavis & Butthead (MTV, 10pm)
Burn Notice (USA, 10pm)
Grimm (NBC, 10pm)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX, 10pm)
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - preview ep (Bravo, 10pm)
Good Vibes (MTV, 10:30pm)
The League (FX, 10:30pm)
It's still Thursday, right? The fact that Grimm and a RHOBH preview ep are on tonight is throwing me off.
We're gonna do something different today. Due to simplicity purposes, this site is primarily dedicated to discussing (a) my pervasive insecurities and (b) television. Oft, these two intersect. However I feel compelled to mention a different type of program today. The podcast. Podcast, you say, blaspheme! My radio provides me with all the ear-based entertainment I can handle! I know, I understand. Radio has been around ever since the days when I was too young to be left alone so my mom had to drag me around town and we'd listen to the respected Drs. Dean Edell and Laura. (To this day whenever I have an issue, I think to myself "What would Dr. Laura say?" And then I do the opposite.) Perhaps radio's been around a little longer than 1994 but that's the extent of my memory.
In any case, radio has either become hideously annoying or I've simply listened to one to many advertisements for Sleep Train to ever think of touching the dial again. So when podcasts started being "a thing" a few years ago, my reaction was marked by my usual pattern, (1) confusion (2) fear surrounding my own confusion (3) an arbitrary decision to admonish the new technology as "stupid" and "useless" (4) propelled by an article, I finally try it (5) years after the early adopters and late adopters, I finally accept, embrace, and advocate for the technology.
It's not pretty and as a media enthusiast, it's not a pattern I'm proud of, but it's a time-honored tradition encompassing everything from technology to fashion. Dates all the way back to third grade with Beanie Babies and continued through high school with the emergence of Ugg Boots, hugging your friends in the hallway (you just saw each other 45 minutes ago you jerks!) and, most recently, The Walking Dead. My ignorance and stubbornness knows no boundaries. We all learn in different ways.
Back to the task at hand: podcasts. In this case, the article about Marc Maron's WTF that propelled be to break my podcast embargo (step 4) was particularly poignant because I was working at EW at the time. As fear of drives most of my actions, I immediately went home and downloaded a couple of episodes featuring some recognizable guests so I could discuss the show with coworkers if necessary. It took my until a roadtrip a couple weeks later to finally listen. Boom. Struck with obsession.
Let's be clear. I don't know shit about the comedy world. Aside from the handful of shows at Caroline's and the Comedy Cellar, I've never made a habit of going to clubs. I maintained that MADtv was better than SNL until I was 17. I read Steve Martin's Born Standing Up and it made me hate him. (Though watching him nurse a banjo at Carnegie Hall made me like him again.) However, since this summer when the Amy Poehler episode broke my cherry, (writing that made my feel squeamish) I've listened to every newly posted podcast and raided the archives for the notables, including two uncomfortable encounters with Carlos Mencia and a failed attempt to interview Gallagher.
Not only does it make me want to hear more about the fanatically self-deprecating Marc Maron, it's provided me with temporary sanity, (see: the intro to the Thanksgiving ep with Dr. Steve) it's thought-evoking (a quality I've come to rely of RHOBH for) and it's been the beginning of a keen interest in the comedy scene. The stars of my Netflix queue of late have resembled more of a who's who of 90s comics. Who's the Caboose introduced me to Sam Seder, who seems fucking brilliant. You're Fired made me feel better about my own trainwreck of a life. I'm finally watching Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work and am horrified that our generation will probably only know her as the host of Fashion Police. I Am Comic. American: Bill Hicks. It's amazing. The people who make me laugh are the only people that feel more anxious and insecure than I do. After an episode of WTF, I feel like an emotional rock star.
One thing lead to another and following Chris Hardwick's appearance on WTF I started listening to The Nerdist. Again, late fucking adopter. I take full responsibility. But it's amazing. It's smart. It's nostalgic. I can start and stop it as many times as I want. It makes me feel more confident in my own social skills. And perhaps most importantly, it's not marked by DJs making wacky sounds or Mattress Discounters commercials every 22 minutes. What more could I ask for?
So on the days that I'm not here, the days when I can't find time to sit down and finish AHS or Glee, know that I'm still being entertained. My ear buds are still feeding me information of cultural semi-relevance. And yours can too! Because I'm giving The Podcast a seal of approval. There it is, in retractable internet ink.
December 06, 10:17 AM
New Tonight:
90210 (CW, 8pm)
Glee (FOX, 8pm)
Last Man Standing (ABC, 8pm)
Man Up! (ABC, 8:30pm)
New Girl (FOX, 9pm)
The Biggest Loser (NBC, 9pm)
The Millionaire Matchmaker Reunion Part II (Bravo, 9pm)
Raising Hope (FOX, 9:30pm)
Body of Proof (ABC, 10pm)
Covert Affairs (USA, 10pm)
Sons of Anarchy (FX, 10pm)
Teen Mom 2 (MTV, 10pm)
Currently watching: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
It is much too early to be sitting on the couch crying because Robin was talking to her imaginary kids for an entire episode of HIMYM. Haven't watched it yet? Too bad.
In an effort to rid my mind of the image of Robin swigging eggnog alone in Central Park, I turned to the equally depressing (in a much realer way) ladies of Beverly Hills. It's working pretty well, given that thanks to Kim and her bizarrely escalating turtleneck (I think it might be trying to squeeze the life out of her because every week she looks just a little bit redder in the face) we get gems like this one:
Do I want to go to your party? Seriously? You don't exist. Why Would I go to your party?
Because everyone knows hell hath no fury like a woman scorned from a Beverly Hills soiree! This can't end well. But seriously, if I didn't have Kim as a mature role model, I don't know how I would learn to handle life's trifles. Speaking of handling situations with grace and dignity, has anyone looked up Lisa's restaurant, Sur? Because a simple internet search will yield you THIS. You're welcome. I will also say the image of Kyle laser-pointing out Brandi's nipples and tilting her head back with self-satisfied cackling suddenly brought to mind the scene in The Little Mermaid when Ursula steals Ariel's voice.
I constantly forget how much alcohol is being consumed at these events, and that it might possibly have something to do with the crazy erratic behavior at Brandi's belly dancing party. However, I've had no wine this morning and I am incredibly confused about who this ginger in the yellow dress is and why she thinks she has any right to bully poor, disoriented Taylor. Also, who is this bitch that keeps going on about the ocean and humans being an "evolved species"? And finally, HOLY BALLS, is that Jennifer Gimenez, the rehab manager from Sober House?? You can't hide from me, I'd know those pumped-up lips anywhere.
Did anybody catch Taylor on WWHL last night? I missed it and I'm kicking myself today. Here's some consolation. Thanks for tuning in!
90210 (CW, 8pm)
Glee (FOX, 8pm)
Last Man Standing (ABC, 8pm)
Man Up! (ABC, 8:30pm)
New Girl (FOX, 9pm)
The Biggest Loser (NBC, 9pm)
The Millionaire Matchmaker Reunion Part II (Bravo, 9pm)
Raising Hope (FOX, 9:30pm)
Body of Proof (ABC, 10pm)
Covert Affairs (USA, 10pm)
Sons of Anarchy (FX, 10pm)
Teen Mom 2 (MTV, 10pm)
Currently watching: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
It is much too early to be sitting on the couch crying because Robin was talking to her imaginary kids for an entire episode of HIMYM. Haven't watched it yet? Too bad.
In an effort to rid my mind of the image of Robin swigging eggnog alone in Central Park, I turned to the equally depressing (in a much realer way) ladies of Beverly Hills. It's working pretty well, given that thanks to Kim and her bizarrely escalating turtleneck (I think it might be trying to squeeze the life out of her because every week she looks just a little bit redder in the face) we get gems like this one:
Do I want to go to your party? Seriously? You don't exist. Why Would I go to your party?
Because everyone knows hell hath no fury like a woman scorned from a Beverly Hills soiree! This can't end well. But seriously, if I didn't have Kim as a mature role model, I don't know how I would learn to handle life's trifles. Speaking of handling situations with grace and dignity, has anyone looked up Lisa's restaurant, Sur? Because a simple internet search will yield you THIS. You're welcome. I will also say the image of Kyle laser-pointing out Brandi's nipples and tilting her head back with self-satisfied cackling suddenly brought to mind the scene in The Little Mermaid when Ursula steals Ariel's voice.
I constantly forget how much alcohol is being consumed at these events, and that it might possibly have something to do with the crazy erratic behavior at Brandi's belly dancing party. However, I've had no wine this morning and I am incredibly confused about who this ginger in the yellow dress is and why she thinks she has any right to bully poor, disoriented Taylor. Also, who is this bitch that keeps going on about the ocean and humans being an "evolved species"? And finally, HOLY BALLS, is that Jennifer Gimenez, the rehab manager from Sober House?? You can't hide from me, I'd know those pumped-up lips anywhere.
Did anybody catch Taylor on WWHL last night? I missed it and I'm kicking myself today. Here's some consolation. Thanks for tuning in!
December 02, 03:28 PM
New Tonight:
A Gifted Man (CBS, 8pm)
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC, 8, 9pm)
Nikita (CW, 8pm)
CSI: NY (CBS, 9pm)
Supernatural (CW, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 9pm)
Blue Bloods (CBS, 10pm)
Boss (Starz, 10pm)
Fashion Police (TBS, 10:30pm)
I make no bones about the fact that I'm obsessed with X Factor. Some may even say X-sessed. Despite my affection for it, I have to admit to fast forwarding through the results show until the very end. This was fine until it backfired on me this week and I fast forwarded all the way to Steve saying "Astro has left the show," which made me momentarily believe the kid had chosen to pack his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack and hid the road, headed toward 8 Mile. Alas, I was wrong; America voted him off. But much like Sydney on Parenthood, Astro has swiftly learned the importance of being a good loser. In this situation, America is Grandpa Zeke and L.A. Reid is Joel. (There really are only a handful of stories TV can tell.)
In a more shocking twist, the judges sent Drew home in favor of Marcus Canty's rhythmic styles. In an even more shocking twist, Simon accepted responsibility for forcing her to keep singing renditions of famous songs geared toward wrist cutters. (That'll teach him to keep catering to the suicidal demographic!) While Astro may have learned a Very Important Lesson about hissy fits, Simon, bolstered by years of ego inflation and Pepsi Cola, was visibly perturbed by his peers booting his flaxen-haired, Jesus-loving protege. In all my years of watching American Idol, I don't think I've even seen that particular mix of rage, disappointment, and personal offense. And it was epic. Of all the Simons we've known, Snarky Simon, Cocky Simon, Bemused Simon (are those all the same?) I have to say Protective Mentor Simon trumps them all.
In other news, someone told me about this and this today. Look, I know this relationship isn't reciprocal, but I would appreciate you people keeping me abreast of this stuff. In the future, any Mowry-related news should be directly toward me. Next thing I know the Savage brothers will get their own reality show and I won't know until Season Two comes out on Blu-ray.
Thanks for tuning in, I'm got some Sunny that needs watching.
A Gifted Man (CBS, 8pm)
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC, 8, 9pm)
Nikita (CW, 8pm)
CSI: NY (CBS, 9pm)
Supernatural (CW, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 9pm)
Blue Bloods (CBS, 10pm)
Boss (Starz, 10pm)
Fashion Police (TBS, 10:30pm)
I make no bones about the fact that I'm obsessed with X Factor. Some may even say X-sessed. Despite my affection for it, I have to admit to fast forwarding through the results show until the very end. This was fine until it backfired on me this week and I fast forwarded all the way to Steve saying "Astro has left the show," which made me momentarily believe the kid had chosen to pack his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack and hid the road, headed toward 8 Mile. Alas, I was wrong; America voted him off. But much like Sydney on Parenthood, Astro has swiftly learned the importance of being a good loser. In this situation, America is Grandpa Zeke and L.A. Reid is Joel. (There really are only a handful of stories TV can tell.)
In a more shocking twist, the judges sent Drew home in favor of Marcus Canty's rhythmic styles. In an even more shocking twist, Simon accepted responsibility for forcing her to keep singing renditions of famous songs geared toward wrist cutters. (That'll teach him to keep catering to the suicidal demographic!) While Astro may have learned a Very Important Lesson about hissy fits, Simon, bolstered by years of ego inflation and Pepsi Cola, was visibly perturbed by his peers booting his flaxen-haired, Jesus-loving protege. In all my years of watching American Idol, I don't think I've even seen that particular mix of rage, disappointment, and personal offense. And it was epic. Of all the Simons we've known, Snarky Simon, Cocky Simon, Bemused Simon (are those all the same?) I have to say Protective Mentor Simon trumps them all.
In other news, someone told me about this and this today. Look, I know this relationship isn't reciprocal, but I would appreciate you people keeping me abreast of this stuff. In the future, any Mowry-related news should be directly toward me. Next thing I know the Savage brothers will get their own reality show and I won't know until Season Two comes out on Blu-ray.
Thanks for tuning in, I'm got some Sunny that needs watching.
December 01, 05:51 PM
New Tonight:
Community (NBC, 8pm)
The X Factor (FOX, 8pm)
Parks & Rec (NBC, 8:30pm)
Bones (FOX, 9pm)
The Office (NBC, 9pm)
Whitney (NBC, 9:30)
Beavis and Butt-head (MTV, 10pm)
Burn Notice (USA, 10, 10:30pm)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX, 10pm)
Prime Suspect (NBC, 10pm)
The League (FX, 10:30pm)
I just bought a track by the Glee cast for the first time since Mercedes slayed "Bust Your Windows." How did this happen? I didn't go into this episode thinking Finn, of all people, would bring my near to tears with his sweet vocals and genuine tone! I feel violated.
So here I am, sitting on my armchair in a down jacket, halfway because I was too lazy to take it off when I got home and halfway because it would take too much effort to move the electrical cords away from the heater in order to prevent a massive apartment fire.
Sidebar: Did Puck just say Coke Zero? On FOX? What the...I think the Simon Cowell just burst into flames.
In any case, you know the pickins' are sparse when I'm listing Burn Notice on the schedule. I'm be watching the last ten minutes of the X Factor, I Used to Be Fat, and possibly ANTM, though I'm really running out of steam on that show. Has that been on for seven years? I hear it takes seven years for your taste buds to change and I'm wondering if the same might be true for cultural preferences. (Yes, like it or not, ANTM is part of the cultural landscape.) For example, I used to be a diehard Office fan. Lately, the thought of having to watch an entire episode is like tying a cinderblock to my leg and trying to go for a jog around the reservoir. I'm not saying it's a bad show without Steve Carell, I wouldn't even know. Since his farewell season last year, it's been a chore to keep up with. I already have to clean the hair out of the shower drain and dust off the TV stand, I don't need to spend 22 minutes watching The Office just because it used to be something I enjoy. I've simply outgrown it. File that under sad but true.
Community (NBC, 8pm)
The X Factor (FOX, 8pm)
Parks & Rec (NBC, 8:30pm)
Bones (FOX, 9pm)
The Office (NBC, 9pm)
Whitney (NBC, 9:30)
Beavis and Butt-head (MTV, 10pm)
Burn Notice (USA, 10, 10:30pm)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX, 10pm)
Prime Suspect (NBC, 10pm)
The League (FX, 10:30pm)
I just bought a track by the Glee cast for the first time since Mercedes slayed "Bust Your Windows." How did this happen? I didn't go into this episode thinking Finn, of all people, would bring my near to tears with his sweet vocals and genuine tone! I feel violated.
So here I am, sitting on my armchair in a down jacket, halfway because I was too lazy to take it off when I got home and halfway because it would take too much effort to move the electrical cords away from the heater in order to prevent a massive apartment fire.
Sidebar: Did Puck just say Coke Zero? On FOX? What the...I think the Simon Cowell just burst into flames.
In any case, you know the pickins' are sparse when I'm listing Burn Notice on the schedule. I'm be watching the last ten minutes of the X Factor, I Used to Be Fat, and possibly ANTM, though I'm really running out of steam on that show. Has that been on for seven years? I hear it takes seven years for your taste buds to change and I'm wondering if the same might be true for cultural preferences. (Yes, like it or not, ANTM is part of the cultural landscape.) For example, I used to be a diehard Office fan. Lately, the thought of having to watch an entire episode is like tying a cinderblock to my leg and trying to go for a jog around the reservoir. I'm not saying it's a bad show without Steve Carell, I wouldn't even know. Since his farewell season last year, it's been a chore to keep up with. I already have to clean the hair out of the shower drain and dust off the TV stand, I don't need to spend 22 minutes watching The Office just because it used to be something I enjoy. I've simply outgrown it. File that under sad but true.
November 29, 06:54 PM
New Tonight:
90210 (CW, 8pm)
Glee (FOX, 8pm)
Last Man Standing (ABC, 8pm)
The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8pm)
Man Up! (ABC, 8:30pm)
New Girl (FOX, 9pm)
Ringer (CW, 9pm)
Teen Mom 2 (MTV, 9pm)
Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo, 9pm)
Raising Hope (FOX, 9:30pm)
Body of Proof (ABC, 10pm)
Covert Affairs (USA, 10pm)
Parenthood (NBC, 10pm)
Sons of Anarchy (FX, 10pm)
Currently watching: Workaholics
There's so much to say - Real Housewives-wise - and yet so little to talk about. I'm really tuckered out. It's been a long day of catching up on Workaholics, Parks and Rec, Up All Night and Suburgatory, I think I can accurately say, with 80% certainty, that I'm caught up.
And I'm exhausted.
90210 (CW, 8pm)
Glee (FOX, 8pm)
Last Man Standing (ABC, 8pm)
The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8pm)
Man Up! (ABC, 8:30pm)
New Girl (FOX, 9pm)
Ringer (CW, 9pm)
Teen Mom 2 (MTV, 9pm)
Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo, 9pm)
Raising Hope (FOX, 9:30pm)
Body of Proof (ABC, 10pm)
Covert Affairs (USA, 10pm)
Parenthood (NBC, 10pm)
Sons of Anarchy (FX, 10pm)
Currently watching: Workaholics
There's so much to say - Real Housewives-wise - and yet so little to talk about. I'm really tuckered out. It's been a long day of catching up on Workaholics, Parks and Rec, Up All Night and Suburgatory, I think I can accurately say, with 80% certainty, that I'm caught up.
And I'm exhausted.
November 28, 02:34 PM
New Tonight:
Gossip Girl (CW, 8pm)
Terra Nova (FOX, 8pm)
The Sing-off (NBC, 8pm)
Bored to Death (HBO, 9pm)
Hart of Dixie (CW, 9pm)
Hoarders (A&E, 9pm)
House (FOX, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo, 9pm)
Enlightened (HBO, 9:30pm)
Rizzoli & Isles (TNT, 10pm)
Currently watching: American Horror Story
Run in the park? Don't be silly! Do you know how many prime pickin's are on the DVR right now? I've already laughed out loud at Ashley walking in on the man-on-man kiss on Revenge, felt awkward of behalf of everyone who had to deal with drunk ex George on Tough Love, confirmed my unwavering obsession with Allen Gregory, and have moved on to bargaining with Ryan Murphy about not making Tate the Rubber Man. He's so cute, it's just not fair! (Evan Peters is in fact 24 years old, otherwise I would feel like quite the Coug.)
Let's on convene later. Until then, don't forget to set your DVR for RHOBH tonight!
Gossip Girl (CW, 8pm)
Terra Nova (FOX, 8pm)
The Sing-off (NBC, 8pm)
Bored to Death (HBO, 9pm)
Hart of Dixie (CW, 9pm)
Hoarders (A&E, 9pm)
House (FOX, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo, 9pm)
Enlightened (HBO, 9:30pm)
Rizzoli & Isles (TNT, 10pm)
Currently watching: American Horror Story
Run in the park? Don't be silly! Do you know how many prime pickin's are on the DVR right now? I've already laughed out loud at Ashley walking in on the man-on-man kiss on Revenge, felt awkward of behalf of everyone who had to deal with drunk ex George on Tough Love, confirmed my unwavering obsession with Allen Gregory, and have moved on to bargaining with Ryan Murphy about not making Tate the Rubber Man. He's so cute, it's just not fair! (Evan Peters is in fact 24 years old, otherwise I would feel like quite the Coug.)
Let's on convene later. Until then, don't forget to set your DVR for RHOBH tonight!
November 27, 01:50 PM
New Tonight:
Amazing Race 19 (TLC, 8pm)
Once Upon a Time (ABC, 8pm)
The Simpsons (FOX, 8pm)
Tough Love Miami (VH1, 8pm)
Allen Gregory (FOX, 8:30pm)
Boardwalk Empire (HBO, 9pm)
Dexter (Shotime, 9pm)
Family Guy (FOX, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 9pm)
The Walking Dead (AMC, 9pm)
Wilson Phillips: Still Holding On, series premiere (TV Guide Network, 9pm)
American Dad! (FOX, 9:30pm)
Hell on Wheels (AMC, 10pm)
Homeland (Shotime, 10pm)
Hung (HBO, 10pm)
Kourtney and Kim Take New York, season 2 premiere (E!, 10pm)
I don't know what to say. It's not you, it's me. I've been busy. I haven't even had a chance to look at the DVR in days. I imagine it feels neglected and I'm waiting for Mercury to erase everything before I can watch it. (Apparently that's a thing. I just learned about it and I'm supposedly the last one.)
Regardless of my DVR's feelings, my roommate is currently utilizing it to watch a series of Hallmark and Lifetime holiday movies. I know millions of people share an affinity for them, but I can't get past the fact that they're terrible. I watched Accused at 17 for the second time this weekend (by choice) and it struck me, again, how most Lifetime movies feel like a porno that had all the interesting parts cut out. Between the local-theater-status acting and the shaky camera work, the production values are horrific. Having said that, I can somehow manage to get past the poor quality when there is some kind of overarching, gratuitous lesson about teen suicide or bullying or the dangers of having sex in hot tubs. What I can't get past are the recycled plots indicative of holiday-themed made for TV movies, particularly the Lifetime ones. How many stories are there to tell about a good-hearted but desperate woman in need of a man (and possibly a child) to warm her lonely soul on Christmas Eve? I know it's a fantasy but how many financially stable charming-yet-aloof widowers are out there? (Really, they're not my target demographic so I have no idea.)
Admittedly, I'm the first person duped into hating Beverly Hills residents who I've never met via Bravo editors, but at least with their divorces, arrests, drug problems and bankruptcies, the Housewives provide some semblance of reality. It may be coated by shiny veneers and collagen but it's life. Instead of perpetuating stereotypes and weaving some fantasy scenario, why not integrate some reality into these annual movies? Why not something like A Legal Separation for Christmas? Or Mrs. Claus Goes to Rehab? Or The Eight Days of Detox - a sequel in which Mrs. Claus learns about Hanukkah? Bitch Stole My Weave from Under the Tree? My, my, the possibilities are endless!
Speaking of Housewives, Atlanta is on tonight. Should I be watching that? I've never kept up with NeNe & Co. with the religious ferocity that I follow all the others. I've also got some catching up to do regarding Tough Love, which I might be permanently disenchanted with. In any case, I'm in need of some caffeine before I head to work and I need to practice spelling Hanukkah, which, at 23 years old, I had to Google, so I'm off. Thanks for tuning in!
Amazing Race 19 (TLC, 8pm)
Once Upon a Time (ABC, 8pm)
The Simpsons (FOX, 8pm)
Tough Love Miami (VH1, 8pm)
Allen Gregory (FOX, 8:30pm)
Boardwalk Empire (HBO, 9pm)
Dexter (Shotime, 9pm)
Family Guy (FOX, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 9pm)
The Walking Dead (AMC, 9pm)
Wilson Phillips: Still Holding On, series premiere (TV Guide Network, 9pm)
American Dad! (FOX, 9:30pm)
Hell on Wheels (AMC, 10pm)
Homeland (Shotime, 10pm)
Hung (HBO, 10pm)
Kourtney and Kim Take New York, season 2 premiere (E!, 10pm)
I don't know what to say. It's not you, it's me. I've been busy. I haven't even had a chance to look at the DVR in days. I imagine it feels neglected and I'm waiting for Mercury to erase everything before I can watch it. (Apparently that's a thing. I just learned about it and I'm supposedly the last one.)
Regardless of my DVR's feelings, my roommate is currently utilizing it to watch a series of Hallmark and Lifetime holiday movies. I know millions of people share an affinity for them, but I can't get past the fact that they're terrible. I watched Accused at 17 for the second time this weekend (by choice) and it struck me, again, how most Lifetime movies feel like a porno that had all the interesting parts cut out. Between the local-theater-status acting and the shaky camera work, the production values are horrific. Having said that, I can somehow manage to get past the poor quality when there is some kind of overarching, gratuitous lesson about teen suicide or bullying or the dangers of having sex in hot tubs. What I can't get past are the recycled plots indicative of holiday-themed made for TV movies, particularly the Lifetime ones. How many stories are there to tell about a good-hearted but desperate woman in need of a man (and possibly a child) to warm her lonely soul on Christmas Eve? I know it's a fantasy but how many financially stable charming-yet-aloof widowers are out there? (Really, they're not my target demographic so I have no idea.)
Admittedly, I'm the first person duped into hating Beverly Hills residents who I've never met via Bravo editors, but at least with their divorces, arrests, drug problems and bankruptcies, the Housewives provide some semblance of reality. It may be coated by shiny veneers and collagen but it's life. Instead of perpetuating stereotypes and weaving some fantasy scenario, why not integrate some reality into these annual movies? Why not something like A Legal Separation for Christmas? Or Mrs. Claus Goes to Rehab? Or The Eight Days of Detox - a sequel in which Mrs. Claus learns about Hanukkah? Bitch Stole My Weave from Under the Tree? My, my, the possibilities are endless!
Speaking of Housewives, Atlanta is on tonight. Should I be watching that? I've never kept up with NeNe & Co. with the religious ferocity that I follow all the others. I've also got some catching up to do regarding Tough Love, which I might be permanently disenchanted with. In any case, I'm in need of some caffeine before I head to work and I need to practice spelling Hanukkah, which, at 23 years old, I had to Google, so I'm off. Thanks for tuning in!
November 21, 03:14 PM
New Tonight:
Dancing With the Stars (ABC, 8pm)
Gossip Girl (CW, 8pm)
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8pm)
Terra Nova (FOX, 8pm)
The Sing-Off (NBC, 8pm)
2 Broke Girls (CBS, 8:30pm)
Bored to Death (HBO, 9pm)
Hart of Dixie (CW, 9pm)
Hoarders (A&E, 9pm)
House (FOX, 9pm)
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo, 9pm)
Two and a Half Men (CBS, 9pm)
Enlightened (HBO, 9pm)
Mike & Molly (CBS, 9pm)
Castle (ABC, 10pm)
Hawaii Five-O (CBS, 10pm)
Dancing With the Stars (ABC, 8pm)
Gossip Girl (CW, 8pm)
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8pm)
Terra Nova (FOX, 8pm)
The Sing-Off (NBC, 8pm)
2 Broke Girls (CBS, 8:30pm)
Bored to Death (HBO, 9pm)
Hart of Dixie (CW, 9pm)
Hoarders (A&E, 9pm)
House (FOX, 9pm)
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo, 9pm)
Two and a Half Men (CBS, 9pm)
Enlightened (HBO, 9pm)
Mike & Molly (CBS, 9pm)
Castle (ABC, 10pm)
Hawaii Five-O (CBS, 10pm)
November 20, 12:20 PM
Amazing Race (CBS, 8pm)
The Simpsons (FOX, 8pm)
Tough Love Miami (VH1, 8pm)
Allen Gregory (FOX, 8:30pm)
Boardwalk Empire (HBO, 9pm)
Dexter (Showtime, 9pm)
Family Guy (FOX, 9pm)
Sister Wives (TLC, 9pm)
The Good Wife (CBS, 9pm)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 9pm)
The Walking Dead (AMC, 9pm)
American Dad! (FOX, 9:30pm)
Sister Wives (TLC, 9:30pm)
CSI: Miami (CBS, 10pm)
Hell on Wheels (AMC, 10pm)
Homeland (Shotime, 10pm)
Hung (HBO, 10pm)
How To Make It in America (HBO, 10:30pm)
Ok, laundry, let's do this.
First of all, I love that the show is in San Antonio, a move that is clearly an attempt to honor the classic Texas film, Miss Congeniality. I'm excited about the chefs, but they always seem so novice in the first couple episodes so I'm not particularly attached to anyone yet - except the dude who's been in prison. I'm disgusted and enthralled that the producers must have pushed him to reveal that to define his backstory, given that most ex-cons do everything in their power to avoid being typecast as "the dude who went to prison." Ah, reality.
I don't want to delve too deeply into TCT, but I will acknowledge that the first thing to go through my mind when they walked into the Quickfire™ (damn, who is in charge of the branding at Bravo?) to find Padmatron standing next to a terrarium with a live rattlesnake in it was, "Ohhh shit they have to capture and kill their own snake dinner! Fear Factor challenge! Fear Factor challenge!!" Like most Quickfires™, the challenge proved to be less exciting, the cruelest part of it being that they forced the poor rattler in the tank to watch his cousins being chopped, blowtorched and garnished with parsley. (Bear in mind this is coming from a girl who had a hotdog wrapped in bacon and coated in beef chili for dinner last night.) Unfortunately Padmatron also made a painfully forced expletive shout out to Snakes On A Plane. Padma, babe, if I wanted to listen to Samuel L. Jackson quotes being bleeped for content, I'd have tuned into AMC for a Pulp Fiction marathon. Where is Joe Rogen when you need him?
For the record, Tough Love tonight will be a regularly scheduled episode, unlike last week's train wreck. I'm also stoked that the Jason Segel SNL is sitting pretty on my DVR this afternoon, as are Suburgatory, Up All Night and the last half of Glee (ugh.) So have fun on your hike or whatever, I'll clearly need to watch all this for the both of us. Thanks for tuning in, and let's talk about it later.
November 18, 04:28 PM
New Tonight:
A Gifted Man (CBS, 8pm)
Chuck (NBC, 8pm)
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC, 8 & 9pm)
Kitchen Nightmares (FOX, 8pm)
Nikita (CW, 8pm)
CSI: NY (CBS, 9pm)
Fringe (FOX, 9pm)
Grimm (NBC, 9pm)
Supernatural (CW, 9pm)
Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 9pm)
Blue Bloods (CBS, 10pm)
Boss (Starz, 10pm)
Fashion Police (E!, 10:30pm)
A Gifted Man (CBS, 8pm)
Chuck (NBC, 8pm)
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC, 8 & 9pm)
Kitchen Nightmares (FOX, 8pm)
Nikita (CW, 8pm)
CSI: NY (CBS, 9pm)
Fringe (FOX, 9pm)
Grimm (NBC, 9pm)
Supernatural (CW, 9pm)
Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 9pm)
Blue Bloods (CBS, 10pm)
Boss (Starz, 10pm)
Fashion Police (E!, 10:30pm)
November 17, 05:08 PM
New Tonight:
Community (NBC, 8pm)
Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8pm)
The X Factor (FOX, 8pm)
Parks and Recreation (NBC, 8:30pm)
Rules of Engagement (CBS, 8:30pm)
Bones (FOX, 9pm)
Person of Interest (CBS, 9pm)
Private Practice (ABC, 9pm)
The Office (NBC, 9pm)
Whitney (NBC, 9:30pm)
Beavis and Butt-head (MTV, 10pm)
Burn Notice (USA, 10pm)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX, 10pm)
Prime Suspect (NBC, 10pm)
Project Accessory (Bravo, 10pm)
The Mentalist (CBS, 10pm)
Good Vibes (MTV, 10:30pm)
The League (FX, 10:30pm)
Currently Watching: The X Factor
Clinically speaking, I have a very low resting blood pressure. This is good because I think watching/listening to Nicole on last night's X Factor has made it rise to well above normal levels. So far this season I think she's declared nearly every song and every artist as "one of her favorites." Guess what, you only get, like, a handful of those. That's why we call them "favorites." When you determine that every song that ever existed is your "favorite," you're kind of defeating the purpose, no? That's like eating something different for lunch every day and going, "Yay! Tuna subs are my favorite!" then coming in the next day and saying "Hooray! Steak burritos are my favorite!" and then the next day saying "Tuna salad doesn't fall into the 'salad' genre, but it's still one of my favorite lunches." Make up your mind, woman!
Also, why is X Factor even entertaining the idea of genre weeks? From what I understand about this show, the point is to find major recording artists. The show itself isn't about challenging these people to conquer country or rock or hip hop or whatever, it's so they can use these weeks in the public eye to define their artist persona and reach an audience that will buy their CDs. (Do CDs still exist?) So why are the judges attacking Melanie Amaro, who, with her Mariah Carey-esque vibes, has clearly already gathered a following? Why are we making Stacey Francis sing Meatloaf? (Side note: Simon telling Stacey her hair looked better this week was a nice way of saying "Thanks for hiding your fivehead, it was giving me nightmares.") Why are we literally putting bows on top of Lakota Rayne?
The highlight of the night was indubitably Simon telling L.A. Reid to "watch your back." Twice! Simon. Bro. L.A. has been in hip-hop and rap for over 20 years. Given the amount of badass mofos he knows, do you really want to start this fight? Small, white British fellow that you are? It's a good thing the girls are in between them, maybe they'll take out Nicole in a tussle.
I'm still catching up on last night's TV, but what did everyone think of AHS?
Community (NBC, 8pm)
Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8pm)
The X Factor (FOX, 8pm)
Parks and Recreation (NBC, 8:30pm)
Rules of Engagement (CBS, 8:30pm)
Bones (FOX, 9pm)
Person of Interest (CBS, 9pm)
Private Practice (ABC, 9pm)
The Office (NBC, 9pm)
Whitney (NBC, 9:30pm)
Beavis and Butt-head (MTV, 10pm)
Burn Notice (USA, 10pm)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX, 10pm)
Prime Suspect (NBC, 10pm)
Project Accessory (Bravo, 10pm)
The Mentalist (CBS, 10pm)
Good Vibes (MTV, 10:30pm)
The League (FX, 10:30pm)
Currently Watching: The X Factor
Clinically speaking, I have a very low resting blood pressure. This is good because I think watching/listening to Nicole on last night's X Factor has made it rise to well above normal levels. So far this season I think she's declared nearly every song and every artist as "one of her favorites." Guess what, you only get, like, a handful of those. That's why we call them "favorites." When you determine that every song that ever existed is your "favorite," you're kind of defeating the purpose, no? That's like eating something different for lunch every day and going, "Yay! Tuna subs are my favorite!" then coming in the next day and saying "Hooray! Steak burritos are my favorite!" and then the next day saying "Tuna salad doesn't fall into the 'salad' genre, but it's still one of my favorite lunches." Make up your mind, woman!
Also, why is X Factor even entertaining the idea of genre weeks? From what I understand about this show, the point is to find major recording artists. The show itself isn't about challenging these people to conquer country or rock or hip hop or whatever, it's so they can use these weeks in the public eye to define their artist persona and reach an audience that will buy their CDs. (Do CDs still exist?) So why are the judges attacking Melanie Amaro, who, with her Mariah Carey-esque vibes, has clearly already gathered a following? Why are we making Stacey Francis sing Meatloaf? (Side note: Simon telling Stacey her hair looked better this week was a nice way of saying "Thanks for hiding your fivehead, it was giving me nightmares.") Why are we literally putting bows on top of Lakota Rayne?
The highlight of the night was indubitably Simon telling L.A. Reid to "watch your back." Twice! Simon. Bro. L.A. has been in hip-hop and rap for over 20 years. Given the amount of badass mofos he knows, do you really want to start this fight? Small, white British fellow that you are? It's a good thing the girls are in between them, maybe they'll take out Nicole in a tussle.
I'm still catching up on last night's TV, but what did everyone think of AHS?
November 16, 03:58 PM
New Tonight:
Survivor: South Pacific (CBS, 8pm)
The Middle (ABC, 8pm)
The X Factor (FOX, 8pm)
Up All Night (NBC, 8pm)
Suburgatory (ABC, 8:30pm)
America's Next Top Model (CW, 9pm)
Harry's Law (NBC, 9pm)
Modern Family (ABC, 9pm)
Secretly Pregnant (TLC, 9pm)
Work of Art (Bravo, 9pm)
Happy Endings (ABC, 9:30pm)
American Horror Story (FX, 10pm)
CSI (CBS, 10pm)
Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 10pm)
Psych (USA, 10pm)
Revenge (ABC, 10pm)
Real World: San Diego (MTV, 10pm)
Top Chef: Texas (Bravo, 10pm)
Lady Hoggers, series premiere (A&E, 10:30pm)
You got all that, Tivo? Between the X Factor, (helllz yes) American Horror Story, and the most intriguingly titled show of the year, Secretly Pregnant, it's gon' be a late night here at the MagsWrites household.
Survivor: South Pacific (CBS, 8pm)
The Middle (ABC, 8pm)
The X Factor (FOX, 8pm)
Up All Night (NBC, 8pm)
Suburgatory (ABC, 8:30pm)
America's Next Top Model (CW, 9pm)
Harry's Law (NBC, 9pm)
Modern Family (ABC, 9pm)
Secretly Pregnant (TLC, 9pm)
Work of Art (Bravo, 9pm)
Happy Endings (ABC, 9:30pm)
American Horror Story (FX, 10pm)
CSI (CBS, 10pm)
Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 10pm)
Psych (USA, 10pm)
Revenge (ABC, 10pm)
Real World: San Diego (MTV, 10pm)
Top Chef: Texas (Bravo, 10pm)
Lady Hoggers, series premiere (A&E, 10:30pm)
You got all that, Tivo? Between the X Factor, (helllz yes) American Horror Story, and the most intriguingly titled show of the year, Secretly Pregnant, it's gon' be a late night here at the MagsWrites household.
